Thursday, April 28, 2011


Light • 

it's free——fill your tank with it, your tank, meaning your body. The thing that carries 'you' around, at least that is the way we have agreed to think of this bag of vessels, and sinew, skin, hair, bile, blood, piss, bone and a multitude of various kinds of tissues, all coming from the same source materials, same elements that are inextricably related to LIGHT- Using language conventionally because if we couldn't agree to invent a labeling system, like language to I'dentify ourselves with something in common, like bodies/language, how else could we get along? So calling you, your 'tank', I'm stretching the linguistic boundary only a little, because most of us are also moving around in something we have created just as conceptually as our 'tanks' / bodies, only this body is vaguely more removed in the conventional sense, a little faster, sharper, harder, but never-ever shinier, called an "automobile".  ones own movement.

Auto/from the greek: αὐτο- auto- "self, one's own"

I'm thinking of how we have this SUN on our side. I'm thinking of the word:  


I'm also thinking of my meditation this morning.  As we sit… contemplating…calming the body formation which is dependent upon the breath…absorbing into the breath deeper and deeper, more peace, more stillness, not for peace or stillness sake, even tho peace and stillness are really really nice - the calming is a precursor to LOOKING. Looking at what? Exactly! what ever you THINK you see, is not it. 
Continuing…to sit means becoming, Still like a mountain—Peaceful like a sleeping baby—Alert like a sentinel. 
Then very slowly arising, an understanding  more or less of freedom coming through this morning of my recent stressful relationship to this tank/body, in that I keep thinking this body actually belongs to me. It belongs, if  to anyone, then it's to the SUN. I've simply borrowed it, for a second. The ego is a curious little phenomena, it is for all intents and purposes nothing more than a thief. It knows it doesn't have anything of it's own, and so it goes around appropriating ALL things as it's own. In fact, that is one of the ancient teachings, maybe not so far as to identify the ego as a thief, but that one must be on the alert, able and willing to apply mindfulness, and use mental pliancy to catch the self appropriating ones spiritual practice even, with selfishness. Nothing is more concerned with it's sense of self than ego. 

Metta like a mountain and where the first drop of water condenses on the granite wall and lets lose into gravity's fall, joining with the next and next until a stream of likeness forms a cascade into a pool, and from there a spring travels under the wide frozen glacial field to emerge in the wood and continues down through gravity's marsh emptying into a lake, and spilling its bank to form a river, before melting into the delta and feeding all manner of industry, waterfowl, micro-organisms, plant-life, reflecting high above the white streaming clouds on their way back to the mountain top. Then effortlessly gathering momentum the delta widens and finally the shaping earth cuts a channel toward the bay and one can sense the rising and falling of the breath like the distant surf, and tidal surge, the tidal receding, the ocean calling the water , the sun and moon calling the ocean. Other-worldly… and all the while the water is METTA, for every living cell, no longer held in check with boundary of the body- cellular, stellar, and shelter all in one. Until you look deeper and you see, there is no "out-there", there is no- "in-here". What death then? Evaporation, condensation, the mountain, the river, the delta, the sea, THE BORROWER, who always gives back what has been borrowed, with interest, fill your tanks with the freedom of the light, give yourself back it's ALL free-(dumb), as in not really speakable.

Cancer treatments with LIGHT-photosynthesizing cancer

what Eye•dentity   •  
what dualism?

And now, I head out to physical therapy. to work on un-freezing my shoulders. Isn't it just hilarious to think of the body as a body after being a mountain, river, delta, ocean, sun? But non-the-less, today marks exactly 6 weeks, the smack dab epi-center of my CURE. Tomorrow high-noon, (SUN at it's apex) the 3rd of 4 infusions begins up in the SKYLINE/Franklin Kaiser Permanente building the very one I am looking at out my studio window this bright sun-filled morning.

May you shine today like the free solar-power of the sun that you have never not been, and may your dazzling light be reflected back out through your borrowed auto-mobile in perfect brilliance! 

1 comment:

Kathleen Meredith Cole said...

Blessings, Elizabeth. It was a perfectly brilliant day, one of those ALL IS WELL days.