White Tulips opening & INFUSION # 3

My lilacs begin their perfuming, as the white tulips planted 15 years ago arise and open- they are double petaled and we've never seen them bloom before, yesterday on my dear god-sister Cordelia's 50th birthday, in the brilliant sunlight and heat of the day, they began to open…  !! Happy Birthday dear one!


Today my wonderful and true friend Joan accompanied me to the 3rd infusion and we had a fantastic time. Such is the depth and compassion of true friendships where one watches their friend drinking in poisons that will sustain many growing seasons to come. 


In the infusion/chemo suite, it was quiet. Some persons there for serious bone-marrow infusions, and these people look very weak, pale, slow, and papery, and yet there words are full and strong and they say they are "good", and they ask about the nurses, and then there is the same man i saw have his first treatment three weeks ago and already his hair completely gone,he nods to me as he wheels his metal caddy toward the bathroom, and he looks relieved and so much more peaceful than before, he's going it alone doesn't bring a partner, the nurse asks him about his pets. The nurses are so kind, and have many tricks to soothe the worry, and their touch is very refined—I can't hear the man responding, his voice so soft, Joan and I on the other hand, laughing an carrying-on! But i send each person including the nurses peace and warm loving waves of softness, and I remind myself to look directly in each person eyes, and when I do, they smile- people love to be seen, like I'm looking through the camera at these flowers and I see there eyes, and hearts and they smile back- here they are, may they make you also smile to see them. &


May we grow old into these gardens of our lives with the same magic and defiance as these perfect petals from ancient tulips bulbs planted so long ago. Old roses, lilacs, carnations, lupines, and peonies—so much greening, and today my teacher tells me: "You are the perfect person to have cancer." I take this as a high compliment, and thank him!