Friday, May 20, 2011

no more to say

[new video and stills from the 4th infusion, including a view of my studio window from the chemo suite - to come] until then…

It's OVER!!!!!!!! OVER OVER OVER !! ! now the nitty-gritty next two weeks of down time. Funny # 1 & 2 didn't have this dread fatigue like # 3, and doc says # 4 will follow suit, sleeping way too much will double efforts with Qi-Gong breathing walking and rejuvenating! 
there is little left to say that won't be simply chronicling "suffering this, and suffering that"—how we do our best, keep quiet when that is the most helpful and move on with grace and now a long cycle of true self-healing begins- the procedures and treatments behind, but the deeper life long habit breaking and new patterns that will evolve, emerge and enliven will become my daily work. Reflection, exercise, diet investigation, meditation, cooking for others, cooking up my life's intention, of right-livlihood, so that one day community change and the vows I make to help others may realize- moving on, speaking less, listening more, practising patience which is the remedy for anger. 
The nurses sang to me today and blew bubbles, "Hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more no more no more no more- 4 x 'no more's that was the charm of the spell. 
I PROMISED them they wouldn't see me again!

I'm on the ROAD - Jack! The road to a cancer free future, with lots of work on fearlessness, body-love, a glorious new morning awaits us each day, may I be of benefit to each of you here on this page and circling that out then a benefit to everyone you know on your community circle and the friends of friends, and each of you a benefit to me, it reverberates like concentric circles rippling out from a stone of love tossed in the lake of stillness, tossed in the lake of chaos, a lake of action, a lake of withdrawal, the circling with nothing left out not even cancer, or the end of cancer. Not even chemo or the END OF CHEMO! Celebration. elation, emancipation!

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