Monday, January 31, 2011

B- Day!!

Dear All-
If we could live truly like it were our last, this is what it might look like-
Clean the kitchen Floor, vacume the stairs, write a letter to your family about all your cluttered pieces not needing to be saved- breath into fear from way up high- seeing it from the view of an eagle- LOOK! it can be seen like a mouse in the crannie of a rock wall a mile away, but what else can also be seen? You name it, IT can be seen. The thousands of loving wishes like thought balloons wafting through the light filled air, spilling precious atoms of love that fall like gold-dust or pollen from heaven on any wound life has to offer—voila TRANSFORMATION- see the salmon in the river - the salmon that is courage- Salmon of courage is a much better meal than a measley little mouse of fear. What else can be seen? a fine winter day like none before - this day of now- if we live today like it might be our last, who would you call? who would you disown? who would you betray? what cause would you give all your money to? what would you pack? what would you eat? how would the coolest cascade of water down your throat feel for the last time, maybe it would actually feel like the FIRST time? What treasure would you expect to find , it would be in the mundane, the missing salt cellar's spoon under the stove? - How much time would you spend on Facebook? Blogging, email? JUST ENOUGH!
If one could live today like it might be the last, be like an eagle-see it all, you would choose what will consume your awareness with great discrimination. You'd be able to see the dirt on the kitchen floor no less profound than mother's milk. The geranium on the desk no less precious in its greenness than any emerald .
Today is not the last day of my life- but it is the last day I will live with two beautiful breasts. Thank you to my wonderful left breast that fed my children, was admired by countless eyes, envied unnecessarily by some, surrendered up to keep teh rest of body ALIVE to live each and every one of the next days of my long, and beneficial, and precious life a little like it might be my last.

For all reading this and all those who are only FEELING it- rest with me in the peace of mind knowing I have good surgeons, a healthy strong body, and i expect goodness to prevail, we are in this life thing together- I am BEING- and being open to ALL your LOVE- from 6:30 am until noon, Tuesday Feb 1, please envision white light and healing rays of peace, love and joy to everyone- as if it might be the last time, and dedicate it to ALL WOMEN EVERY where who will be also be having breast surgery tomorrow morning or any surgery or to what ever it is that makes you feel bigger than a mouse of fear! I'll take my salmon sushi style please - Blessings and I'll write again just as soon as I have a free minute!

I'll be at St. Joseph's (my brother is Joseph) Franklin and 18th St. Denver. For one night or maybe two - if I'm liking the food! :::)))


elizabeth said...

Hey all this seems to be a bothersome place to comment- I think you have to sign-in and or try using the the little pencil tool- it gave me a different window to compose in- anyways- know i care about each and everyone of you! Bless you-

Meredith Stricker said...

dearest e

so much flows through you to so many, I saw the mouth of the river lagoon being opening today rushing into the sea and a thousand birds, so the steelhead will find their way to the vast ocean (but not too early)

you are processing, feeling, fielding so much, through your entire mind and body, the large hawk and small mouse emotions and combinations of these
(brave soaring mice) mixed in with everyone in your wide grassy field,those close, under your care, and the others in widening rings

thank you SO much for your care, for holding the light in the field, which is just your self, being so many lights at the same moment, your poor body left breast (breath) so cared for, and honored all of your love pouring in and through back through you and out and out and in

I hope as you can, that you write down everything as immediate to feeling as possible even if just as notes (like the MRI teaching story, the wires and the waiting and the workers and the sounds) so that if you desire you could make a small book for others to hold near them (when the swiftness of life is apparent, how to meditate when you've had no instruction and suddenly you're in a room with doctors or the MRI or etc) something that anyone could enter and find sanctuary and a way, another whether they have breasts or not -- this could be such a beautiful book, I'd help in any way you want (words, image, reader, funding) anyway, something to think about later

mostly, though, just to hold you, knowing how much of a healing you are taking on, and how safe you are and held in every moment, every thing
you experience

I wish we were closer, knowing also we couldn't be any closer

saltwater and freshwater and sky love, from all of us here

Kathleen said...

No fear. Hate pink, so I'm getting you the No Fear t-shirt, black, with hundreds of brilliantly blinking green eyes.

One second, dead calm, the next, surf's up! Grab your board, girl, paddle like hell. You can do this!

My last day I want to smell ocean, taste salt, walk into a thirty-foot break, swim until I can't go any farther, swim with sea lions...

IdaliWalker said...

Dear Elizabeth, I'm sending you loving thoughts. I'm sorry you're having to face this challenge. I've learned that we never know good luck from bad. Sending you love.