Sunday, February 6, 2011

proof positives & body






Thought I would prove with a few images I made it through the surgery.
We huddled into my tiny cabinet of a studio to record a post op family foto op. I hope you can see what good spirits abound. -not in small measure to all the love that continues to pour into our home via email, phone calls, food delivery and prayers…continued gratefulness to all.
  • my left arm pit is completely numb- like when you get a big shot of Novocaine but your lip never thaws out- this creates a strangely disassociative and un balancing over arch of wonder and worry-'will I ever feel my arm again?'- 'is blood flowing there?', and other uglier thoughts I don't need to share.
  • I feel pretty good, but after an hour or two of conversation I want to nap for three and do so- obviously I am learning to adjust to new energy levels- patience and boredom and then writing some, eating VERY well- thanks to Magpie and dear Heather! Who knew the silver lining would taste gourmet?
  • first formal meditation practice on Thursday- found it easy to practice shamatha (calm-abiding), even in the surgery prep suite and then in recovery- awareness of breath always possible as long as there is awareness, meditation — interesting because the meditative states have no body boundaries that have changed in any way, tho deeper insights offer preview for much greater capacity only because of this body experience-

3 comments:

Ingrid said...

GORGEOUS --- as always. Loving the Love. Can't wait to see you. XOXOXO - Ing

Carleen Brice said...

These are post-surgery?! Wow! I was thinking of you during your surgery and knowing that if you could birth 2 babies without drugs, you'd come through this well. But damn do you look rosy-cheeked for a woman who's been operated on! Love, C

Kathleen said...

Love every cell of you -- you look vibrant in the photos. Great things come from Magpie's hands. I have some little things for you, and hope to see you!